A surprising way into a man's heart
A sweet exchange
My friend was half an hour late to our lunch date today. When she arrived, we discussed the misunderstanding that caused her to show up so late, and we proceeded to enjoy our limited time together.
Eventually our conversation turned to the ways to a man's heart. That's when she told me,
• The way to my heart is through being so sweet about my being late.
I replied,
• The way to my heart is to be able to discuss things so openly.
My friend and I found our ways more deeply into each other's hearts today. It’s one thing to tell people they matter to you. It’s another to find out what makes their heart sing, and treat them in ways that delight them
My friend and I know what makes our own hearts sing, but we only recently discovered a surprising new way into a man’s heart. I bet it’s one you haven’t considered.
The third way in
Some say the way in to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Others say it’s through his passions. I won’t argue with either one of these. But my friend and I have added one more way to the list. Are you ready to hear it?
The way to a man’s heart is through laughing at his jokes.
No, we’re not kidding.
I discovered this inadvertently. My husband and I recently had a renaissance in our love, thanks to the skillful guidance of a coach called Jeffrey Armstrong. Suddenly my husband’s dumb jokes (his description, not mine, but I won’t argue) started to seem hilarious. I mean, no dignity, knee-slapping, hurts the cat’s ears funny.
And the more I laughed at his jokes, the more love I felt flow from his heart to mine.
Three brains
It shouldn’t have been a surprise to me. I speak and write about our three brains that operate in completely different ways. There’s the reptilian power center that likes to control, the emotional heart center that loves, and the neo-cortical, intellectual center that likes to analyze.
And I’ve long spoken about how the mammalian, heart center loves play. Jokes, no matter how dumb, are playful. Jokes, no matter how dumb, enliven the heart.
That means my husband’s dumb jokes are directly connected to his heart center. And when I laugh at his jokes, I tap into his heart.
Doing what works
My husband has a brilliant intellect, and he loves for me to admire and interact with his ideas. But admiring his ideas is my way more deeply into his mind, not his heart. I make a point to be open to his jokes now. Because laughing at a man’s jokes really is a way into his heart, and that’s a wonderful place to be.
Please note, gender references are not meant as absolute in this article.
Read Meryl's reflections on the wisdom of Love: Be the Soul, Love Soul to Soul
Read Meryl's poem on feeding her joy in her everyday life: A bliss-bubble Monday
Read Meryl's review of the SpeakStrong in Love TeleSeminar:
The Three Conversations You Need to Have With Your Intimate (or Prospective Intimate) Partner: A guide to enhanced communication for deeper intimacy
Meryl Runion's summary of the SpeakStrong in Love TeleSeminar:
What Yoga Can Teach Us About Successful Relationships: Vedic Tantra for the Spiritually Aware - How to Create Your UltiMate™ Relationship
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Meryl Runion and Speak Strong (SpeakStrong) provides Power Phrases (PowerPhrases) and other tools to help you improve communication skills at work and at home.
She is the author of the books PowerPhrases!, How to Use PowerPhrases, Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors and How to Say It: Performance Reviews. She can be reached at 719-684-2633 or by email: